Angel: The Drabble Collection
by babies-stole-my-dingo
Summary: Short vignettes, mainly hundred-word drabbles. Stars various characters in various situations, written for various challenges.
1. Birthday

_Title:_ **Birthday**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. Darn it.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's "Minor Character" challenge  
_Notes:_ Takes place during Angel 5:11, "Birthday"

* * *

He'd watched Cordelia for over a year now, fearfully. Her visions were getting worse, and the drugs she had to take more potent. All he could do was scrub her back, or get her a soothing cup of tea. That was his only way of communicating his...love? Yes. He loved her. Naturally. Who wouldn't?

Today was her birthday. He'd make it special. Party hat, noisemaker, confetti...check. But that wasn't her at the door. And his gift wasn't what he'd planned, but information for her friends, so they could help her.

Phantom Dennis wanted to cry. But he couldn't.


	2. Who Corrupted Whom?

  
_Title:_ **Who Corrupted Whom?**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's Challenge #3 Hidden Secret challenge  
_Notes:_ Takes place sometime after "Supersymmetry," I guess.

* * *

She could have justified her relationship with Wesley with the higher-ups by saying that she was trying to corrupt him, that he was just this close to going dark, that he'd be perfect for their team.

But she hadn't told, and now it wasn't about corrupting him anymore. But he wouldn't accept love from her, so she hid it under snark and sarcasm. He never knew that jealousy made her dress like that skinny little Texan nothing. Or that she left the glasses on because it pleased him.

"I love you, Wes," Lilah thought. But she never, ever said it.


	3. Fugitive

  
_Title:_ **Fugitive**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #4 "Fugitive" challenge--your character is fleeing from the authorities. Explain what they did and why they're running instead of giving up.  
_Notes:_ Lorne makes a decision.

* * *

Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan barricaded himself in the barn. Narwek had told him that if he didn't swing the crebbil at the Bach-nal this year, they'd punish him by pulling out his entrails and feeding them to the Helldogs while he watched. But his heart just wasn't in it, and he felt that it was somehow...wrong...to kill the cows that his people used for slaves and food.

He didn't belong here. As he performed the ritual to open the portal, he thought to himself that he didn't know where it went, but anywhere was better than Pylea.


	4. Crossing the Line

  
_Title:_ **Crossing the Line**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Angel100's "Season One" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place during Angel 1:21, "Blind Date." Lindsey's POV.

* * *

Everyone has a line that can't be crossed, no matter what. Working at Wolfram and Hart, you'll encounter that line, eventually. You can't avoid it. I haven't had a problem with getting terrible people out of big trouble; that's what lawyers do, though usually on a smaller scale.

Until now.

They wanted to kill kids. And that's where I draw my line. But you know what? Even at this moment, I don't know if Holland was testing me--or whether I passed or failed. The office, the money, the position...reward, or punishment?

I don't know if I'll ever know.


	5. Deal With the Devil

_Title:_ **Deal with the Devil**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13 for disturbing imagery  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's "write about something unsettling" challenge  
_Notes:_ Because I can't think of anything more unsettling than whiskey-swilling, profane, demonic puppets stealing children's lives...Spoilers for "Smile Time."

* * *

"So, that's all I have to do?" Gregor Framkin asked nervously.

The demon on the other side of the desk smiled at him, showing too many teeth. "Your John Hancock, right here. In blood, please."

Framkin breathed deeply, hesitated a moment, then signed. A door opened to his left, and a quartet of puppets walked into the room. Eyeing him and sneering, the boy puppet said, "Hello, dickwad. My name's Polo. You and me are gonna be real close." Framkin gasped in agony when Polo jammed his hand into his back and grabbed his spine.

"Let's go. It's Smile Time!"

* * *

**Author's Note**: I left that last line vague on purpose, because it's creepier if you don't know who says it, Polo or Framkin. 


	6. All Grown Up

  
_Title:_ **All Grown Up**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #34 "Not Coming Home" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Inspired by the following lyric: _And does it make you mad / To find that I have grown_.

* * *

With a mixture of pride and exasperation, Angel pondered Spike. Every time he thought the other vampire couldn't surprise him anymore, he managed to. On the one hand, he seemed to enjoy twitting him just for the fun of it. On the other...from taking care of Illyria after Wes couldn't anymore, to actually doing as he was asked on occasion, to becoming a full-fledged team member, Spike had surpassed all his expectations--which, he now hated to admit to himself, were low to begin with.

His boy was all grown up. And that, he decided, was a good thing.


	7. Mind Invasion

_Title:_ **Mind Invasion**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG for a naughty word and disturbing imagery.  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ The Open On Sunday LJ Challenge: Write a character, pairing, or genre that you normally wouldn't. Well, I'd never written Gunn...so here goes.  
_Note(s):_ Because, was I the only one who saw something sinister in the brain dump that W&H did to Gunn, and his relationship with the Conduit?

* * *

They're all watching me. Like I'm a ticking time bomb. Every time something new comes up about the brain download, they get this _look_, like "What the hell?" 

I admit, sometimes these new abilities, and the baggage that comes with them, scare me shitless. But I can't talk about the flashes I get--Fred's head flying off in a bright spray of blood, Angel exploding into dust, a sword ramming through Wesley's chest, my hubcap axe slicing Lorne right in two. Because then, they'd really freak.

So, I go see the big black cat. And he makes it okay again.


	8. Mutability

  
_Title:_ **Mutability**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_ The poem isn't mine either.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Poetry" challenge  
_Notes:_ Inspired by Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem "Mutability."

* * *

Wesley unfolded the checked cloth onto the grass. He'd brought Fred to the park on one of their rare days off. Opening the picnic basket, they spread the feast in front of them. Her brown eyes sparkled when she saw that he'd made tacos. After eating, she lay her head in his lap while he played with her hair, and the flowers around the fountain perfumed the air. 

With a startled gasp, he lifted his head from his desk to see Illyria's unearthly blue stare. And reality crashed around his head, making his breath hitch in his chest once more.

* * *

The poem:  
**Mutability**, by Percy Bysshe Shelley 

The flower that smiles to-day,  
To-morrow dies;  
All that we wish to stay  
Tempts, then flies.  
What is this world's delight?  
Lightning that mocks the night,  
Brief, even as bright.

Virtue, how frail it is!  
Friendship how rare!  
Love, how it sells poor bliss  
For proud despair.  
But we, though soon they fall,  
Survive their joy, and all  
Which ours we call.

Whilst skies are blue and bright,  
Whilst flowers are gay,  
Whilst eyes that change ere night  
Make glad the day;  
Whilst yet the calm hours creep,  
Dream thou--and from thy sleep  
Then wake to weep.


	9. New Toy

  
_Title:_ **New Toy**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG for puppet mayhem  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's "Five Senses" (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste) challenge.  
_Notes:_ Nina's POV after she changes into a werewolf while Angel's a puppet.

* * *

"I'm paying better attention to--" Angel's voice fades to an incomprehensible drone as Nina changes.

Oh, look...chew toy. Tilt head. Think it's a chew toy. Sniff. Smells like a chew toy. Felt, cloth. Reach paw, grab, pull. Soft and squishy like a chew toy. Bite, rip. Ew, ugh. Easy to tear, too much stuffing. Spit, wipe tongue. Blah. Heh. Makes funny noises. Screechy. Bad Nina? Am I bad? All I did was play with my new toy.

Aw. It's going away. More funny noises, more screeches. Not fair, give me a new toy and then take it away. Sigh.


	10. Broken

_Title:_ **Broken**  
_Fandom:_ Angel the Series  
_Rating:_ PG-13  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's "Angst/Broken" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Wes/Fred/Illryia; a broken needle, a broken axe, and Wesley's broken heart.

* * *

I realized it was useless when the needle broke on her arm. While I promised it wouldn't take her, I knew it would. And even as my heart broke, I had to stay strong, to not show her how afraid I was.

Because, make no bones about it, I was afraid. Terrified. My Fred was brave, though. Then she said, "Why can't I stay?"...and died in my arms. But it wasn't over, not yet. She stood up, only it wasn't her anymore.

And as the axe shattered on what was once Fred's head, my heart shattered all over again.


	11. Hot Rage, Cold Fear

  
_Title:_ **Hot Rage, Cold Fear**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG, I guess  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they belong to Joss. Just borrowing.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's challenge, to wit: Use this sentence at the beginning or end of your drabble: _The feeling of the barrel of the gun on her skin was enough to make her heart stop beating._  
_Notes:_ Not based on any spoilers other than the preview and the Zap2it blurb for "A Hole in the World." The rest was just rampant speculation on my part, and I was wrong. Oh well. I just want Eve to die. I had a hard time with this, because guns and the Jossverse are unmixy things, generally.

* * *

Wes rampaged through the hallways of Wolfram and Hart. Trembling in the supply closet, Eve knew he was hunting her. He'd quickly deduced the source of the Illyria Demon that was killing Fred...it hadn't been hard; after all, Eve had put the Selminth Parasite on Angel. Their aloof suspicion of her then was nothing to the near-mania that Wesley was demonstrating now. 

The door crashed outward, nearly torn from its hinges. His voice chilled her to the core. "Hello, Eve." The feeling of the barrel of the gun on her skin was enough to make her heart stop beating.


	12. Epiphany

  
_Title:_ **Epiphany**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #37 "Down This Road" Sky Fits Heaven challenge.  
_Notes:_ Kate got fired. What did she do after Angel rescued her from her suicide attempt?

* * *

Angel had said, "If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do." I can't be a cop anymore; they fired me from the force for cause and I'll never work in law enforcement again. So how can I make a difference? I've thought about going to work for Angel, but I'm not sure they'd want me...or that I want to work for a vampire.

Well. No family left, no real friends. I can go wherever I want. I've heard interesting things about Cleveland. Maybe I'll go there, put up a shingle, and do some good.

Yeah.


	13. The Last Straw

  
_Title:_ **The Last Straw**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's "Last Straw" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place during Angel 4:22 "Home." Angel and Connor's final confrontation.

* * *

He's snapped.

Growing up in Quor-toth made him incapable of real human relationships. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten--that was his life. If it moved, you killed it. There, it was simple. Here, the shades of gray will drive you straight up the wall if you let them...and he has. He doesn't know what love is, can't comprehend it. He can't handle being in this world, so I have to send him on to the next one. It's the only way he'll ever have any peace.

"The father will kill the son." Wesley's prophecy was right.


	14. Lessons

  
_Title:_ **Lessons**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #14 "Thanks for Nothing" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place during Angel 5:08 "Destiny."

* * *

Always in Angel's shadow. "You can have what you want, take what you want. But nothing is yours," he'd said--right before he beat Spike to a bloody, unconscious pulp. Spike had been young then, and inexperienced. However, over a hundred and twenty years of fists and fangs had honed him into a scientific fighting machine, and this time that sodding bastard was _not_ going to beat him.

Angelus had stolen Dru from him, all those years ago. He'd learned from the master...and now it was time to show him that the lesson hadn't fallen on deaf ears.


	15. Dirty Little Secret

_Title:_ **Dirty Little Secret**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG, I guess  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Church Of Spike's "Dirty Little Secret" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place in Season 4 after Lilah is killed. Wesley's POV.

* * *

Wes slouched on his couch morosely, a whiskey in one hand and the remote in the other. Eyes glazed, not really paying attention as he flipped through channels, he could only think about _her._ How his plan had been responsible for her death, and now he'd never get to tell her how he felt. How just being with her set him afire in ways that he'd never imagined possible.

But he couldn't tell them he'd loved her. She'd been evil. They wouldn't understand.

So he went to his bed alone, curling around her imaginary body and trying to keep warm.


	16. Dreams of Stardom

_Title:_ **Dreams of Stardom**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Written for:_ The Open On Sunday LJ Crossover challenge  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; please don't sue. I'm sure this has been done before, but I haven't seen it. shrug

* * *

"Oh, Mandy...you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away..."

Simon held up his hand. "That's quite enough. I do believe my ears are bleeding."

Paula tried to be kind. "I'm sorry. That was just...awful. There's no other word for it."

"Yes, there is," said Randy. "We just can't say those words on television."

Angel was crestfallen. "So...that wasn't good?"

Simon felt no need to be kind. "That was terrible. Possibly the worst I've ever heard. A humpback whale would be more melodic than you."

"Told you," Wes said to Angel in the hallway.


	17. GodKing Primeval

  
_Title:_ **God-King Primeval**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Wordoftheday100's "Primordial" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Wesley's thoughts about Illyria, sometime during "Time Bomb."

* * *

She's like some primordial force of nature...except, Nature never had a force like this. In fact, she's the most unnatural thing I've ever seen. Otherworldly, volatile, enormously powerful--but at the same time so ignorant of the world she now has to live in that she might as well be a newborn babe. 

Hamilton was foolish enough to tell me that the Senior Partners don't want her in this dimension. That they're afraid of her. That's incentive enough for me to want to keep her around.

Even if looking at her twists the heart right out of my chest.


	18. After Hours

  
_Title:_ **After Hours**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13 for nekkidness  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #2 "After Hours" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Mike Lookinland played Peter in "The Brady Bunch."

* * *

Buffy prowled the halls of Wolfram and Hart, after hours, looking for Angel. She found Wesley's office first. He looked up from his dusty demon tome. "Try Gunn's office."

"I haven't seen him," Gunn said, poring over a legal brief. "Maybe the lab?"

"He stopped here earlier, but I think he went to see Lorne." Fred barely glanced up from her microscope.

"He went up to his penthouse, cupcake. Have you met Mike Lookinland?"

Buffy stepped out of the elevator and found Angel in bed. "Angel! My cookie dough is--" Spike came walking out of the bathroom, naked. "Oh, shit."


	19. Nighttime in Rio

  
_Title:_ **Nighttime in Rio**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Vacation" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place sometime in Season 1, when it was still just Angel, Cordy, and Wesley.

* * *

As the Angel Investigations team took in the night life in Rio de Janeiro, they were startled to hear a scream from a nearby alley. Without even thinking twice, they dashed toward the sound, drawing the weapons they were never without. Wes and Angel took on a pair of demons each, while Cordy hustled the potential victim away.

When she got back, the demons were in pieces scattered all over the alley, and Wes and Angel were disheveled but whole. Cordy just shook her head and grinned a little. "There's no such thing as a 'vacation' with us, is there?"


	20. Research

  
_Title:_ **Research**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Wordoftheday100's "abecedarian" challenge  
_Notes:_ Takes place during "Time Bomb," in Wesley's office

* * *

Obsessively researching and cross-referencing, Wes feverishly hunted any references he could find on Illyria. He was fascinated, now, by every facet of her being. She was so alien to his experience that his Watcher's sensibilities had been awakened--in the manic sense of one who has discovered a puzzle that holds the key to a priceless treasure.

His office was a chaotic mess of books and scrolls piled on every available surface. No longer in straight rows of abecedarian order, they littered his desk, chairs, and floors. It didn't matter. The answer was in here, somewhere.

It had to be.


	21. Erasing Images

  
_Title:_ **Erasing Images**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13 for alcohol consumption  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Eyes" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place sometime after Angel 5:20 "The Girl in Question."

* * *

Wes raised his flask and swallowed a long draught. The twelve-year-old Lagavulin hadn't been agreeing with him, and he had one hell of an awful hangover. Hair of the dog. Just the ticket.

Illyria's macabre blue gaze had been unnerving him a bit more than usual lately. The contrast between Fred's warm brown eyes and Illryia's cold blue ones was still jarring. Especially since the former God-King had taken on Fred's likeness, for her parents.

As the Scotch warmed his stomach, he wearily reflected that it would take something far stronger than whiskey to scrub that memory from his brain.


	22. Temptation

  
_Title:_ **Temptation**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Ring" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place in Season 1, during "In the Dark."

* * *

The ring was beautifully beguiling, Angel thought. To walk in the sun again, to not have to worry about some overzealous enemy with a lucky crossbow... Surely the Powers wouldn't begrudge him this?

They wouldn't. But his soul would. _It'll make your life too easy,_ it whispered. _You don't deserve it._

No, he didn't. He knew Cordy and Doyle would debate that. They'd say he'd earned some time in the light, out of the shadows. They'd argue that he could help more people than ever now.

Seduction took many forms. This was just one more to resist, before his redemption.


	23. A New Beginning

  
_Title:_ **A New Beginning**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community TV100's "A New Beginning" challenge  
_Notes:_ Wes contemplates his new relationship with Fred after the events of "Smile Time."

* * *

"Oh, screw it," she said, and kissed him.

In that moment, Wesley's world changed. He'd loved Fred from afar for years--her nonstop babble, her quirky sense of humor, her brilliant mind, even the barbaric food she enjoyed. He'd watched and despaired as she and Gunn became an item...and despaired even more as that relationship failed, and she still regarded him with no more than sisterly affection.

How many signals had he missed? She seemed to think that quite a few had gone right over his head. Well, no matter.

Now they had all the time in the world.


	24. Fred's Goodbye

  
_Title:_ **Fred's Goodbye**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community TV100's "Death Letter" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Fred writes Wesley a letter as she succumbs to Illyria.

* * *

Dearest Wesley,

I know I'm dying. I won't be here much longer. I can only hope that the next world is better, and that I'll see you there, later. Until then...please know that I love you. That's what hurts the most--having to leave the best person that ever happened to me.

Oh, Wes. I should write more. So weak...so tired. So much I want to say. But it all boils down to "I love you." I'll love you until the end of time. And for a physicist, that's a really long while...

I'll miss you.

Love,  
Fred


	25. Transmutation

  
_Title:_ **Transmutation**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Wordoftheday100's "transmute" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place during Angel 5:20, "The Girl in Question." Wesley's POV.

* * *

Steeling myself, I take her parents into my office to tell them the bad news. Their little girl is gone, replaced by a God-King with a bad attitude and blue hair.

Oh, God, they look so happy. Why didn't anyone call them? Anyone else, that is? Because I? Was not up to having that conversation.

They natter on about the Hyperion and how we're family, and I'm still not up to having this conversation. Then _she_ walks in, and I hear Fred's dear, familiar accent. Illyria's transmuted herself back into Fred for them.

And my heart cracks all over again.


	26. Lost

  
_Title:_ **Lost**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss and JJ Abrams are the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Lost" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Someone had to do it...

* * *

"Everyone okay?" Wesley shouted, coughing through the smoke. 

One by one, they unfastened their seatbelts and gazed at their surroundings. The tail section of their Lear had fallen off, and they stumbled out the rear into the jungle.

"Aw, _hell_, no, man, this ain't happenin'," Gunn grumbled.

Fred gazed at Spike and Angel in shock. "Why aren't you two on fire? And why is Lorne...not green?"

Angel was equally shocked. "We have heartbeats?"

And after the polar bear chased them to the beach, where survivors of another plane crash camped, Spike asked the obvious question. "Guys? Where are we?"


	27. Movie Night

  
_Title:_ **Movie Night**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ Inlovewithnight requested Fred and Gunn, renting movies. Gunn once mentioned that he and Fred laughed at the "same dumb jokes." So, I came up with...this.

* * *

"Charles! Charles! Oh, we have to get one of these. Maybe more than one!"

"Whatcha got there?" Gunn looked over Fred's shoulder at the rack of comedy DVD's. They had some down time, so they'd decided to stay in, pop some corn, and rent some movies from the local store.

"'It's the Easter Bunny, and is he ever mad.'" Fred dissolved in giggles.

Gunn saw what she had and guffawed. "'Hey, don't leave me here! I was raised by a child; I can't survive in the wilderness!'"

"'Help, help, someone's rubbing puppets on us!"

In unison, they said, "MST3K marathon!"

* * *

_Notes:_ The quotes are from MST3K's versions of "Pod People" and "Hobgoblins." 


	28. Not an Animal

**Title:** Not an Animal  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** SunnyDLite" requested pre-S5 Fred. I decided to go way back.  
**Notes:** Fred re-affirms her humanity.

* * *

I got away. Don't remember how. Or even why, lots of times. At least here, I can think. Course, mostly the thinking goes round in circles, but that's okay because circles are nice things, all circly, and orderly, and sometimes they make spirals and the spirals take you down down down into the essence of what's real, and then they explode into chaos, which is another kind of order. Maybe someday I'll be able to organize that chaos into a way to get home.

I'm not a cow, I think fiercely, writing more formulas on my cave wall. I'm not.


	29. Chaos

**Title:** Chaos  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** Myself, because after I finished and posted the first Fred-in-Pylea drabble, I thought of a _great_ line for it. Since it was too late to edit that drabble and put the line in, I decided to write another one.

* * *

Bad things happen in this place. The handsome man turned into a monster and slaughtered the other monsters, the ones who tried to hurt me. And now he's scared. It's scary when someone like that is scared. Pylea turns the way the world should be upside down. Humans are animals, monsters control everything, heroes are afraid...and a cow can become a Princess under the right circumstances. Even the math doesn't work right, because if it did, I would have been home a long time ago.

Feigenbaum would have a field day here. Chaos isn't a theory. It's a Law.


	30. Unconscious Goddess

**Title:** Unconscious Goddess  
**Author: **babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom: **Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)**Disclaimer: **Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open On Sunday's "missing scene" challenge.  
**Notes:** Why did Fred stop dating Knox?

* * *

Knox was cute, Fred guessed, in an eager-puppy, creepy sort of way. They'd gone out a couple of times, and she just got an odd vibe from him. It was like he looked at her as more than what she was, almost as an object of worship. On their second date, she tried to let him down easy; she didn't want to hurt his feelings. She had to work with him, after all--but he was starting to freak her out. 

She didn't see him in his bedroom later that night, stroking an old book and chanting, "Illyria. Illyria. Illyria..." 


	31. ShortCircuiting Sorrow

**Title:** Short-Circuiting Sorrow  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Fathers" challenge.  
**Notes:** Illyria's POV during "The Girl in Question."

* * *

Wesley's grief was bad enough. The stench of it fills my nostrils like the decay of thousands of dead creatures left on a battlefield to rot in the sun. He and the shell were not even mates as such, but he is nearly incapacitated.

A father's affection for his offspring is deeper. Wesley had attempted to kill me, when I first manifested. I can only imagine how Roger Burkle would feel. The thought of his sorrow when he learns of the shell's fate nauseates me. I cannot bear it.

And so I won't, I decide, as I take her form.


	32. Filial Affection

**Title:** Filial Affection  
**Author: **babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Length: **Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer: **Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for: **LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Fathers" challenge.  
**Notes: **Post-Lineage.

* * *

Amazing how he hadn't even had to think twice about emptying the gun into his father when he grabbed Fred. Utter reflex had guided his hand, and he hadn't stopped pulling the trigger until Roger was no longer a threat to anyone.

Then reaction set in. Angel and Spike's attempts to make him feel better about it backfired almost hilariously. Fred tried to make it seem okay too--but he'd _known_ that was his father.

And when he heard Roger's hectoring voice from across the Atlantic, Wes knew that, if he had to do it over again...he wouldn't hesitate.


	33. Abandoned Instrument

**Title:** Abandoned Instrument  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open on Sunday's "Beatles" challenge.  
**Notes:** Inspired by "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." Takes place during "Dead End."

* * *

Lindsey opened the closet door and saw his guitar sitting against the wall, seeming to stare at him accusingly. "It's not my fault, okay?" he muttered, taking down a shirt and jacket one-handed--because he only had one hand. His stump itched as he fitted the prosthesis on, reminding him of why he hated Angel and stiffening his resolve to bring the vampire down. 

The next morning, he flexed his new fingers and took the guitar out, sat on the bed, and strummed the strings. He could have sworn the instrument was glad to see him. "Hey, there, old friend."


	34. Feigenbaum

**Title:** Feigenbaum  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** G  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words--down from 145)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open on Sunday's "Inanimate Object" challenge.

* * *

She gave me life the day she named me. "The Master of Chaos." I've been with her through everything. She'd hold me and cry when the popular girls teased her--and then she'd flounce over to her desk, mutter "I'll show them," and get a perfect score on the next test, spoiling the curve for them. 

She took me to college...and disappeared. When she came back, she hugged me really hard. I'd missed her too. 

Now? Wesley's putting me in a box with the rest of her things. He's very sad. 

I don't think she's coming back this time. 


	35. Just Another Day at Hell, Incorporated

**Title:** Just Another Day at Hell, Incorporated  
**Author:** babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom:** Angel  
**Rating:** G  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer:** Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open on Sunday's "Office Supplies" challenge.  
**Notes:** Eh, it was funnier in my head. Oh well.

* * *

Angel walked into his office, ready to start another day. A sticky note in the middle of his desk read: "Team Meeting, 9:30." Wes had some ancient document he needed help translating; Gunn had a client he was antsy about. Lorne wanted to talk to him about a movie script some Hollywood guy wanted to pitch for a failed TV series (Joss? Joss who?). And Fred wanted some uber-complicated piece of mystical scientific equipment, which Angel didn't even want to try to comprehend. 

He grabbed a pen, started making notes--and noticed that the ink was lavender and sparkly. 

"Spike!" 


End file.
